Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you
sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask you doctor or pharmacist
about Tequila(R).
Tequila(R) is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about
yourself and your actions.
Tequila(R) can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world
that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.
You will notice the benefits of Tequila(R) almost immediately, and with a
regimen of regular doses, you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you
from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a
thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you
had.
Stop hiding and start living....with Tequila(R).
Tequila(R) may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing
should not use Tequila(R). However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or
becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic
lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of
virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry
mouth, a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip
Poker, Truth Or Dare and Naked Twister.
Dictionary for Decoding Women's Personals Ads:
40-ish
........................... 49
Adventurous ............... Slept with everyone
Athletic ........................ No breasts
Average looking .........
Moo-o-o
Beautiful ...................... Pathological liar
Emotionally
Secure ... On medication
Feminist ...................... Fat
Free spirit
................... Junkie
Friendship first ........... Former slut
New-Age ..................... Body hair in the wrong places
Old-Fashioned
........... No BJs
Open-minded ............. Desperate
Outgoing
..................... Loud and embarrassing
Professional .............. Bitch
Statuesque................. Fat
Rubenesque............... Fat
Voluptuous ................ Very
fat
Wants soulmate ........ Stalker
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry =
You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead
= You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I
am not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly
attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I
am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage
5. I love you =
Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I
have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you
sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie?
= I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd
like to have sex with you
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit
= I'm gay
|
